47 Life Lessons – Business and Personal

I celebrated my birthday this week and I thought I’d share with you 47 lessons I have learned in life. Some are business lessons and some are personal lessons. They all have impacted my life in a profound way:

1. What people say about you, says more about them than you.

2. When you learn to quiet your mind and manage your thoughts, you will then begin to know yourself.

3. Praise publicly. Hash out issues in private.

4. When leading or helping someone find their answers, it’s important to lead them back to themselves.

5. Never accuse. Always give people the benefit of the doubt.

6. You can’t grow if you are not willing to step out of your comfort zone.

7. Laughter is medicine.

8. Have an insatiable curiousness about the world.

9. People matter more than things.

10. Always set clear expectations and understand what is expected from all parties before signing on the dotted line.

11. Don’t invest in something you don’t understand.

12. If it comes in wrapping with a bunch of words that are hard to pronounce, it’s most likely not a healthy food choice.

13. Take responsibility for the choices you have made in your life.

14. Ignore your naysayers.

15. Surround yourself with people who support your vision, dreams, and goals.

16. Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

17. Change is constant.

18. Never make a hasty decision when it comes to business. Always read the fine print.

19. There are always two sides to every story.

20. Understand how your target audience thinks and how they make purchasing decisions.

21. Our thoughts determine the outcome of our lives.

22. Focus on people’s good qualities.

23. Be a problem solver, not a complainer.

24. Don’t blame, judge, or criticize.

25. Don’t let your ego get in the way of doing the right thing.

26. Relinquish the thoughts that no longer serve you.

27. Give without expecting anything in return.

28. You can’t control how others think and behave.

29. You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

30. Just because that’s how it has always been done, doesn’t mean that’s how it should continue to be done.

31. Be inclusive, not exclusive.

32. Ask not what others can do for you, but what you can do for them.

33. Set healthy boundaries in relationships.

34. Dance wildly. Sing out loud. Hug humans.

35. Lift others up and promote their work.

36. Stay Human.

37. Feel grass blades on your feet and the sun on your skin.

38. Take time to do NOTHING.

39. Step into your POWER.

40. Be present. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not arrived.

41. Look deeply into the eyes of your pet dog or cat and connect with them.

42. Be humble. Be grateful.

43. Plant. Grow an organic vegetable garden.

44. Ask the question: What are my intentions?

45. Hug a TREE and feel the energy of Mother Earth pulsate through your body.

46. Just because you don’t understand something does not mean you need to be afraid of it.  Ask questions.

47. Forgive yourself.

Feel free to add some of your favorite Life Lessons in the comments below!

Envision Plan Act Track Adapt

Here is a 5 step social media marketing plan presentation I put together for my local business community. Feel free to share it with others by posting it on Facebook and re-tweeting it, etc. I would love your feedback and comments below. Thanks!

I had a moment of pure ecstasy  while consulting with a client the other day. We shared laughter together. Deep, belly laughter. Wide open mouths of teeth and tongue displayed for all to see. Nostrils flaring open and eyes shutting tightly as we exhaled our emotions of happiness. It was what I call a human moment. One my favorite musicians, Michael Franti calls it Staying Human. Are you in the business of another transaction, sale, proposal, or deal? Or are you in the business of Staying Human?  Are we letting go of the fear and ego that prevents us from engaging and interacting with authenticity and transparency? What is our relationship with our clients like? When we connect with them, do we recognize your own humanity? Are we Staying Human?

Yosemite Falls

What Yosemite Falls Taught Me About Business

Yes, it was perseverance, passion, and purpose that got me to the top of Yosemite Falls, the tallest waterfall in America.  I recently took a vacation to Yosemite where I hiked 2,700 feet of steep vertical terrain up the Yosemite Falls trail. It was a steep 8 mile and 8 hour round trip hike. The last hour to the Falls was brutally steep. The sun was pounding on my back. My feet were screaming at me and my muscles were beyond tired. To say it was a grind would be an understatement. Did I mention how steep it was? Look, I am not going to tell you that I was holding a VISION of getting to the top. Nor was I using any kind of mind over matter mental strategy. It was just 3 things; perseverance, passion, and purpose. I began thinking how these three words can easily be applied to business:

1. Perseverance

I wanted to give up and turn back.  Instead I took a lot of breaks along the way. In business, sometimes we may need to take a time-out and reassess our game plan. Don’t be afraid to pause and reflect on what you need to do next in order to keep moving forward versus throwing in the towel or worse, taking action with no results. Isn’t that called chasing your tail? Or, throwing stuff at a wall and seeing if anything sticks? Staying the course and focusing on your goal is what perseverance is about.

2. Passion

I was intent on getting to the top, but there is no way I would have made it to the top if I did not have a passion for moving my body within nature. With every step I took I grew weary, but at the same time I became increasingly ALIVE! I was grateful for my legs for propelling me forward. I became aware of my breathing. I felt my life-blood pulsing through my veins. I could see and smell the water fall cascading down the stunning sheets of granite. I was conscious of how nature was dancing all around me. I witnessed the beautiful rhythmic motion of wildlife as I climbed the mountain. Are you passionate about your business?  I believe it’s that passion that will get you out of bed in the morning when times get tough. It’s the passion that is going to motivate you when you feel stuck.

3. Purpose

I  had one purpose in mind. It was not getting to the summit of Yosemite Falls. It was to move my body within nature on a beautiful trail. That day was definitely all about the journey, not the destination. An added bonus was reaching the top, but my main purpose was to connect with nature.  Are you clear on the purpose of your business?  Does your business have some kind of meaning or purpose for you? Yes, we all know that the purpose of business is about making profits or else they cease to exist. Pardon me for stating the obvious, but beyond profits, why are you in business? What is your purpose?  Are you clear about your purpose?

Is this your first time reading Hware’s (HumanityWare) Blog? Hi, I am Brenda Tello Horton. I write most of the blog posts for Hware. I invite you to join me by subscribing. I share small business tips and strategies about once a week right here.

Hware’s Top Picks: Some Old, Some New, Some May Surprise You.

As an online business training and coaching company, people often want to know where we go for our business resources and who we turn to for advice, tips, and strategies.  While we have been offering business and technology consulting services for over 25 years, we believe in the importance of being students of life. That means that we never stop learning. We have a huge library of online resources, personalities, brands, and strategic organizations that we tap into daily and weekly. It was hard to narrow it down, but we finally came up with the BEST websites to help you build your small business. So grab your favorite drink and check out the  top 15 websites that made the cut! Please leave your comments below and let us know what you think:

1. Altimeter group: A research-based advisory firm.  This is where I go to get a lot of data driven info on business strategies.
2. Chris Brogan: If I had to pick one industry expert on social media and business. It would be Chris Brogan. His book, Trust Agents is a must-read!
3. CopyBlogger: Copywriting tips for online marketing success.  This site has a ton of valuable FREE resources and tips on blog writing.
4. Gena Livings: For inspired living.  My dear friend, Gena Livings is changing the world with her lifestyle modification services. Be sure to download her free e-book. It’s inspiring!
5. Green Festivals: If you are a “Green” business who sells B2C, you cannot afford to not be an exhibitor at this event.  Co-founded by my good friend, Kevin Danaher, Green Festivals is on the leading-edge of bringing all things “Green” to the mainstream. Four events are held throughout the year in Washington DC, Chicago, Seattle, and San Francisco.  We have been attending since the first Green Festival and this event just keeps getting better every year, especially the after parties!
6. Mashable: The most popular Social Media News blogs on the internet.  Take your time absorbing the information, it can be overwhelming for newbies. You will want to bookmark a lot of the material and use it as a reference later.
7. Michael Franti & Spearhead: (Okay, this has very little to do with growing your biz online, but I could not resist plugging my fave band. I fire up this music to keep me motivated and inspired for my biz.)  As entrepreneurs, we all need music to keep us motivated, inspired, and happy! We LOVE to dance to Spearhead music! If you ever have the chance to see a live Michael Franti and Spearhead concert, you must GO! It’s life altering!  What’s your favorite music that keeps you going?
8. Mixergy: Andrew Warner interviews CEOs and Founders of successful companies . I love his in-depth questions of business leaders. He is young and bold and he asks really good questions.  I love to go hiking on my property while listening to Mixergy interviews on my iPhone.  I always learn something new from this twenty something year old.
9. Read Write Web: This is a technology analysis news blog.  I like referencing this site because while the focus is on technology, the writing is not filled with Geek and Coder jargon. It’s written for people like us ordinary folks.
10. Seth Godin: One of the top marketers in the world.  I have read many of his books and have had the opportunity to see him speak live. He has a way of making his point very succinctly.
11. Small Biz Survival:  A rural and small business resource blog. We live in a rural area in northern California, and while our business is internet and technology-based, we are nevertheless interested in what’s happening in small town businesses.
12. Small Business Trends: An online news blog with a focus on small businesses trends and over 122,000 subscribers.
13. Social Media Examiner: A guide to social media. This site has a lot of useful “How To” articles on social media, well written content and easy-to-understand.
14. Triple Pundit: As many of you know, our personal lifestyle is oriented towards most things “Green” and “Sustainable.”  We did build a straw bale home many years ago and enjoy living in it. Triple Pundit is a great online “Green” business news resource.
15. Work Awesome: A resource for the worker on productivity, time management and all kinds of other awesome stuff.  I recently found this site and I can’t say enough awesome things about it!

I hope you found great value in our top 15 BEST websites to help you grow your small business. We invite you to add some of your favorite small business websites too, even if it is your own and you feel it will help a small business owner.  Don’t be shy! Go ahead and post!

Small Business & Entrepreneur Seminar

It Takes Time To Build Trust

It was a full house at the Nevada County Small Business and Entrepreneur Seminar where I had the privilege to speak on one of my favorite business topics —- Social Media! Online relationships are a lot like offline relationships.  It takes time to build trust. People buy from people they know, like, and trust. The focus of my presentation was on social media and how to build online relationships. Here is a link to the short presentation.

Social Media Strategies For Beginners

I also gave this much longer presentation in a live webinar in September of 2009 where we had over 130 online attendees. While some of the material is outdated, most of the principals still apply.

UCLA Graduation 2010 History Department

Do You Have An Aptitude For Business?

I attended my nephew’s graduation ceremony from UCLA this past weekend and the businessman who gave the commencement address carried my memory back to when I was graduating from college.  He gave me much to ponder about my own personal journey towards becoming an entrepreneur. You see, my nephew has graduated with a Liberal Arts degree in History and the commencement speaker holds a degree from History too.  The point he was making is that just because you get a degree in a non-business school does not necessarily mean you won’t end up working for yourself someday. Nor will you keep the same job for long in today’s rapidly changing business environment.  I obviously did not know that I had an aptitude for business, networking, sales and marketing, customer service, self-motivation, strategy, and leadership the day I graduated from the College of Communications at the University of Texas in Austin.  I guess I should have known had I been paying closer attention to what interested me and what activities I was drawn to. The signs were there all along:

• Spear-headed the occasional summer sno-cone stand in my neighborhood (self-motivation and sales & marketing.)
• Thrived in sports competition since grade school (strategic.)
• Captain of the Varsity volleyball team in high school (leadership.)
• Could not wait to get my first real-paying job as soon as I was old enough to start working, which was the local grocery store (self-motivation.)
• Fired from the local grocery store in high school because I was spending too much time talking to the customers (networking.)
• Always had a dream of doing something on my own even though I had no idea what that would be (entrepreneurship.)
• Ignored people (teachers, bosses, aunts, uncles, neighbors, etc.) in positions of power whom I perceived to be incompetent (self-confidence.)
• Received numerous awards for outstanding customer service as a flight attendant for major airline company. (This was my first job right out of college.)

What Has Been Your Personal Journey Towards Entrepreneurship?

I believe there is not one RIGHT path to entrepreneurship.  I meet hundreds of small business owners every year and I am always intrigued and interested to learn how they decided to go work for themselves.  Personally, I can definitely say that I have grown into becoming a business woman over the years. Let me give you an example. Upon graduating from college, I had a yearning desire to travel the world. I wanted to experience other cultures, places, food, and people. So, I became a flight attendant for a few years. While flying the friendly skies, I had my first real business experience with cutting costs. The CEO of the airline decided to cut out the olives in the salads in First and Business Class travel. That seemed like a minor decision. However, that one decision saved the airline $40,000 a year! That was chump change to a very profitable airline, but it nevertheless was an expense that was removed, which meant every expense mattered.  Obviously, one could argue that the CEO should have renegotiated the olive contract with the supplier. Or, he should have found a cheaper olive vendor that wanted to expand market share. The story here is that I learned a lot about business from being a flight attendant. Not because it was the airline’s intention, but because by the time I graduated from college, I started to pay closer attention to everything around me. I was observant. I learned a lot about company culture, branding, customer and employee attitudes, diplomacy, top-down leadership, how upper-management was perceived by the laborers, procedures, etc. I also learned a lot about myself and one thing was clear. I was definitely not the corporate type. How about you? When did you decide to become an entrepreneur? When did you realize that you could no longer work for someone else? What was the turning point for you? Did you always know that you wanted to be an entrepreneur? I Would love to hear your story! Please post your comments below.

The San Francisco Small Business Week conference was held last week and the City by the Bay did not disappoint!  As a resource and advocate for small businesses, I want to share with you some fun and fascinating highlights of the event.

The FREE workshops and networking events should become a model for small business conferences. Edith Yeung of BizTechDay gave a workshop on “How to Engage or Build a Community for Your Business.” No one knows better than Edith on how to bring small business owners together. She is the founder of the largest Small Business MeetUp group in San Francisco called SF Entrepreneur.  I spoke with Edith after her workshop and she invited me to attend the Women Innovators reception held later that evening at the Julia Morgan Ballroom where the First Lady of San Francisco, Jennifer Siebel Newsom was hosting a panel discussion on women leaders.  Jennifer is currently working on a film called MissRepresentation. The film explores the underrepresentation of women in positions of power and influence in America and how the media plays a role in perpetuating negative images of women.  The trailer for the film left me sitting on the edge of my seat. As a business woman myself and one who understands the value of having strong female role models in a girl’s life, I was most intrigued by this upcoming film and look forward to watching it upon its release.

The business after hours Grand Expo 2010 was held at the AT&T Park Club level and what a perfect venue to host a party!  The stunning views of the Bay set the tone for a fabulous festive evening of networking. While noshing our way through all the hors d’ oeuvres and  sipping on California wines, I came across BLineMarketing, an all inclusive marketing firm that offers internet marketing services. Brooke Spilberg, director of search marketing for BLineMarketing is a wealth of knowledge and expertise on growing your business online.

Later that evening, I made a short visit to Mashable’s MashMeet SF at the Roe Lounge where I met up with Pete Cashmore and friends.  The hip and trendy lounge was over flowing with tech-lovers of all sorts by the time I arrived. Of course, what’s an evening out in San Francisco without saying good-night to my long-time friends, world renown chef, Roland Passot and his sommelier brother, George Passot of La Folie French restaurant?

Check out more photos of The San Francisco Small Business Week Conference and Mashable’s MashMeetup SF party at Brenda Horton’s Flickr site.

Desire  Passion  Commitment  Perseverance

Lance Armstrong along with 128 of the world’s top cyclists rode through my neighborhood yesterday. They were racing in the  AMGEN Tour of California.  The racers whizzed by me on Dog Bar Road as I tried to capture the moment with my digital camera without getting run over. Nothing could have prepared me for the sheer adrenaline rush I felt as I witnessed the power of intensity and laser-focus on the faces of these determined men. I was overwhelmed with INSPIRATION! As I began to reflect on my experience that morning, I realized that entrepreneurs have a lot to learn from these peak performing athletes.

Their desire to race is fueled by passion.

Their passion is sustained by commitment.

Their commitment is surely tested by challenges and obstacles.

Their challenges and obstacles are overcome by perseverance and resolve.

Because of their perseverance and resolve, they have qualified to participate in a world class sporting event.

They are prepared for this opportunity called the AMGEN Tour of California.

How about you?  What opportunities are you preparing for in your business?  What makes you get back up every time you hit a roadblock in your business? What keeps you focused on your business goals?  What fuels your passion for your business?   Or, do you need to get out of the way because you might get run over?  For me, it’s knowing that I am building a business that serves humanity in a useful way.  Whether it be our customers, vendors, employees, or partners, it’s about holding a clear VISION of impacting and improving the lives of many people on many different levels.

About eighteen months ago, Hware’s business model was redesigned and I became a business partner with my spouse, Chuck.  While our business relationship is young, we have nevertheless been together as a couple for nineteen years. Being familiar with each other’s idiosyncrasies has prepared me for a journey of perseverance and patience. Let’s face it, there is no denying it. It is HARD, especially if you have two people like me and Chuck, who are long-time entrepreneurs; and whom neither one of us ever seem to be lacking with opinions about how we should go about building the business.  Yet, partnering with someone you like, trust and know on an intimate level can also be very empowering. I believe the overall integrity of the business partnership comes down to what I think are the five most important elements to the success of the business and a healthy relationship.  I share them with you with the hope that we can have a conversation about spousal business partnerships.  Surely we are not the only ones who have chosen to go down this path. We have  much to learn from one another don’t we?

1. Be clear on your roles. Who is responsible for what, when, where, how and why. For example, in our software business, Chuck is primarily the the creator of our products. He is our software developer, programmer, Geek Guy. (Obviously, I have a thing for Geeky Guys. I married one.) He architects the software, designs it, and supports it.  My primary role is to market and sell the software.  There is no confusion about our roles in this capacity. That’s not to say that I don’t offer feedback and opinions about how the software looks and feels from an end-user’s perspective or that he doesn’t comment on how to brand it.  In addition, some of our roles overlap from wearing many different hats. However, we are very clear on our primary roles.  Here is how we have broken down our responsibilities:
   Chuck: Finance, Business Development, Long-Term Strategy, Software Development, Company Culture, and Technical Support.
   Brenda: Marketing, Branding, Online – Offline Sales, Social Media, Strategic Relationships, Business Development, Company Culture.  As our company continues to grow we will add operations and admin support, but for now, we share in those roles as well.  As we evolve, other roles will later be absorbed by outsourcing services, vendors, and employees. We also recently set up Hware as an Limited Liability Corporation where I assumed the role of president of the company. The reason we did this? The software industry is dominated by White males. We like to do things different here at Hware.
2. Know your strengths and use them well. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We decided early on to build a strengths-based organization.  I know this sounds like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised at how many people try to build a business going against their strengths. This just does not make sense at all. Imagine me trying to build our own website or Chuck calling on prospective customers. It’s just plain common sense to have people play to their strengths versus their weaknesses. We took a strength-based test before we became partners and it gave us a unique perspective going into the business relationship. One of Chuck’s major strengths is his ability to quickly process complex information and regurgitate it in a simple format. He is also a systematizer. He has used that strength to take complex processes and technologies and simplify it and systematize it for our business so that it runs smoothly and efficiently. Before we changed Hware’s business model, this is how he earned a living — offering business and technology consulting services. However, getting him to write a blog post would be like prompting him to eat his cereal with milk. He hates dairy milk and eats his cereal dry.  I, on the other hand love to write. I have always loved writing. I was a student journalist for my college newspaper at the University of Texas in Austin. I have also kept a personal journal since I was a teenager.  So, it makes strength-based sense that I am the one who blogs for our company. Fundamental to the success of growing an online presence for a small business is blogging. It plays to my strength. I recently looked at our google analytics on our website and the number one traffic driver to our site was an organic search on google! That means the blog is working! Now that’s an example of my strengths performing with optimal results!  Now, if I can just get folks to leave their comments, that would be even better. Hint, hint.
3. Have clear boundaries and strong communication. This one has to do with knowing yourself and your partner. Because we both live and work together, it is easy for us to talk about our business 24/7.  This is not healthy for the relationship.  It’s important to turn it off and take a break. So, if we have a business related topic that we want to discuss during non-working hours, we usually try to ask permission to discuss.  Chuck often jokes by saying that I am the person in his life that taught him to say no and helped him establish strong boundaries. Our conversation usually goes something like this —  Brenda: “I need to run something by you regarding technical stuff. Are you at a place where we can have a conversation?”  Chuck: “Not right now.  I am giving my brain a break.” Brenda: “I really need to flush it out. When can we talk?  It is time sensitive.”  Chuck: “Will tomorrow work for you?”  Brenda: “Yes, how about first thing tomorrow morning during our hike?”  Chuck: “Fine.”  Chuck is much better than I am about turning off the business brain. Have you ever met an entrepreneur or business owner and all they talk about is business? Can you say BORING?  Please, get a life. Give it a break.  Don’t be that Guy or Gal.
4. Have each other’s back. It starts with RESPECT! Put the egos aside.  There is no room for pride or self-absorption in a partnership. I don’t try to tell Chuck how to develop software just as he does not try to tell me how to network, negotiate, build business relationships, sell or market our software. We respect each other’s business acumen.  We don’t try to micro-manage each other or control each other’s daily activities. We set our goals and however we choose to achieve those goals is up to each individual. In addition, we know when to back off and give each other space when dealing with difficult issues, and believe me, there are many.  We have each other’s best interest at heart. Also, I think it is important to set each other up for success. For example, Chuck can work long hours of programming and he will occasionally forget to feed himself. This behavior has negative consequences. I call it Coder Behavior. Anyone who is married to a software developer knows what I am talking about. Anyway, one of my passions is cooking.  So, whenever I take a meal break, I always check in with Chuck and offer to bring him some of whatever I have cooked up. I know he appreciates it and it saves him from CRASHING at the end of the day.  Which leads me to my last insight.
5. Don’t take things personally. Being a small business owner certainly has its frustrations and hardships.  Here’s the thing…Don’t EVER make it about YOU! The world does not revolve around you. Building a business is challenging enough without adding drama to the equation. If you are committed to your business and your relationship, you will do what is in the best interest of your relationship and the success of your business. Check yourself. Ask yourself if your ego or pride is getting in the way of making solid sound business decisions. I know we are emotional human beings, and there is a time and a place to express our feelings, but business is really about common sense and bringing solutions to our trials and tribulations.  So, be a SOLUTIONARY!

These are just a few insights from my own personal experience of having a spouse as a business partner. How bout you? I would love to hear from you in the comments section. Don’t be shy!  Please share a tidbit of advice or experience that has helped you navigate the spousal business partnership. Or, if you are just entering a business relationship with your spouse and you have some questions, ask away. Perhaps we can be a sounding board for one another. Let’s start a conversation. We can all learn from each other!

Next Page »