47 Life Lessons – Business and Personal

I celebrated my birthday this week and I thought I’d share with you 47 lessons I have learned in life. Some are business lessons and some are personal lessons. They all have impacted my life in a profound way:

1. What people say about you, says more about them than you.

2. When you learn to quiet your mind and manage your thoughts, you will then begin to know yourself.

3. Praise publicly. Hash out issues in private.

4. When leading or helping someone find their answers, it’s important to lead them back to themselves.

5. Never accuse. Always give people the benefit of the doubt.

6. You can’t grow if you are not willing to step out of your comfort zone.

7. Laughter is medicine.

8. Have an insatiable curiousness about the world.

9. People matter more than things.

10. Always set clear expectations and understand what is expected from all parties before signing on the dotted line.

11. Don’t invest in something you don’t understand.

12. If it comes in wrapping with a bunch of words that are hard to pronounce, it’s most likely not a healthy food choice.

13. Take responsibility for the choices you have made in your life.

14. Ignore your naysayers.

15. Surround yourself with people who support your vision, dreams, and goals.

16. Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

17. Change is constant.

18. Never make a hasty decision when it comes to business. Always read the fine print.

19. There are always two sides to every story.

20. Understand how your target audience thinks and how they make purchasing decisions.

21. Our thoughts determine the outcome of our lives.

22. Focus on people’s good qualities.

23. Be a problem solver, not a complainer.

24. Don’t blame, judge, or criticize.

25. Don’t let your ego get in the way of doing the right thing.

26. Relinquish the thoughts that no longer serve you.

27. Give without expecting anything in return.

28. You can’t control how others think and behave.

29. You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

30. Just because that’s how it has always been done, doesn’t mean that’s how it should continue to be done.

31. Be inclusive, not exclusive.

32. Ask not what others can do for you, but what you can do for them.

33. Set healthy boundaries in relationships.

34. Dance wildly. Sing out loud. Hug humans.

35. Lift others up and promote their work.

36. Stay Human.

37. Feel grass blades on your feet and the sun on your skin.

38. Take time to do NOTHING.

39. Step into your POWER.

40. Be present. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not arrived.

41. Look deeply into the eyes of your pet dog or cat and connect with them.

42. Be humble. Be grateful.

43. Plant. Grow an organic vegetable garden.

44. Ask the question: What are my intentions?

45. Hug a TREE and feel the energy of Mother Earth pulsate through your body.

46. Just because you don’t understand something does not mean you need to be afraid of it.  Ask questions.

47. Forgive yourself.

Feel free to add some of your favorite Life Lessons in the comments below!

Desire  Passion  Commitment  Perseverance

Lance Armstrong along with 128 of the world’s top cyclists rode through my neighborhood yesterday. They were racing in the  AMGEN Tour of California.  The racers whizzed by me on Dog Bar Road as I tried to capture the moment with my digital camera without getting run over. Nothing could have prepared me for the sheer adrenaline rush I felt as I witnessed the power of intensity and laser-focus on the faces of these determined men. I was overwhelmed with INSPIRATION! As I began to reflect on my experience that morning, I realized that entrepreneurs have a lot to learn from these peak performing athletes.

Their desire to race is fueled by passion.

Their passion is sustained by commitment.

Their commitment is surely tested by challenges and obstacles.

Their challenges and obstacles are overcome by perseverance and resolve.

Because of their perseverance and resolve, they have qualified to participate in a world class sporting event.

They are prepared for this opportunity called the AMGEN Tour of California.

How about you?  What opportunities are you preparing for in your business?  What makes you get back up every time you hit a roadblock in your business? What keeps you focused on your business goals?  What fuels your passion for your business?   Or, do you need to get out of the way because you might get run over?  For me, it’s knowing that I am building a business that serves humanity in a useful way.  Whether it be our customers, vendors, employees, or partners, it’s about holding a clear VISION of impacting and improving the lives of many people on many different levels.

Rework, 37 Signals, and 3 Million Customers

Keeping Business Simple

Rethink Your Business

This Book Is Not For Status Quo Keepers

It's a dialogue not a monologue.

Networking Should Never Be Dull

You’ve heard the saying, “People buy from people they know, like and trust.” Nothing builds trust in a relationship faster than a face-to-face interaction. As powerful as online networking is, there is nothing more magical than connecting with another human being in person.  So, here are 10 TIPS on how to be a dynamic host at your very own networking event:

1. Have a designated greeter at the entrance. It’s just plain good manners to welcome people at your event.

2. Use name tags. If it is an event where most people have only met online or don’t know each other, please offer name tags. Most people are not good with remembering names, especially if they are meeting a lot of people for the first time.

3. Be a connector by introducing people to one another. Many people are not naturally comfortable going up to someone and introducing themselves. It was a big deal for them to actually show up. So, make it easy for people to engage in conversation with one another by introducing them to each other.

4. Keep announcements to a minimum. People came to network. They don’t want to listen to a speech.

5.  Say good-bye to your ego. It’s not about impressing your guests. It’s about making your guests feel welcomed and comfortable.

6. Don’t be a Poser. In other words, don’t pretend to be someone or something you are not. People can detect a lack of authenticity immediately and it is a big turn-off.

7.  Be courteous. Duh! Yes, I feel the need to state the obvious because I am amazed at how people don’t seem to be conscious of their lack of consideration for their guests. Being courteous is really about being considerate. It’s about anticipating the needs of your guests and making sure those needs are being met. Upon arrival for example, be proactive and point out where the restrooms are or any other important information.

8. Don’t talk adnauseam about yourself, your kids, or your pets. Nobody really cares. Unless you are talking to someone who genuinely does, (you will know because they will keep asking questions) don’t do it. Networking is inherently designed to have a dialogue not a monologue. So, ask questions. It’s about sharing in a conversation.

9. Be present. If someone interrupts you (which we all know is rude) while you are talking to someone else, the temptation is to turn your attention to the interruptor. Don’t leave your initial conversation and start another conversation with the interruptor. Just turn to the interruptor and say, “As soon as I am done talking to (say person’s name) I will be available.” Then quickly turn away and give your attention back to the person you were talking to and finish the conversation. This is a hard one and takes practice, because we naturally want to please everyone who wants our attention. It requires being fully present and grounded in the moment so that you are not easily distracted.  When you drop a conversation and divert your attention to another conversation without finishing it, you are in essence saying, “You are not important to me. I don’t care about you.” Is that the impression you want to give to your guests?

10. Follow-up. Be sure  to follow-up with your guests/attendees and ask them to comment on their overall experience, especially if it is going to be an ongoing scheduled event. Feedback is critical to the overall success of your ongoing events.

You’ve heard the other saying, “People may forget what you said or what you did, but they will never forget how YOU made them FEEL.” Everyone wants to feel special, especially your guests. Why do you think Oprah has guests that are CRAZY about her show? She knows how to make them feel special.

Do you have a networking tip to share? Feel free to add any other networking tips on the comments below.  We can all learn from one another.

Twitter is the Reason I Fell In Love with Technology

I LOVE smart men! I married one 13 years ago. We’ve been together for almost 20 years now. While at the  South By Southwest Interactive Media conference in Austin Texas, I was surrounded by thousands of cool, smart and geeky men. By far they outnumbered the female attendees. And, being that my husband is also my business partner, I felt right at home networking with these hip, creative, and gadget-loving guys. So naturally, when I saw Ev Williams, CEO of Twitter walking by me on Congress Avenue, it felt effortless for me to introduce myself to him. After all, Twitter is the reason I fell in love with technology, the internet, social media, video blogging, and the online world of social networking.  Prior to Twitter, my usage of the internet involved buying airline tickets a few times a year and an occasional book purchase from Amazon. Okay, I used my computer a bit more than that. The point is that Twitter radically changed the way I interact with technology, my computer, and the internet. One October day in 2008 I attended BizTechDay, a conference in San Francisco and everyone was talking about Twitter, blogging, WordPress, and social media. These buzz words were practically in every conversation during the break-out sessions and lectures. When I heard people talk about how they were experimenting with Twitter to grow their business, I focused in more intently. The ease and simplicity of it immediately intrigued me. Online business networking was something I could definitely wrap my brain around and Twitter seemed to be the technology tool to help me get started.

Top 7 Reasons why I LOVE Twitter

Fast-forward eighteen months later and here I am, a social media power user, small business blogger, technophobe-turned-technolovah! It was great chatting with Ev. I thanked him for bringing Twitter to market. I use it everyday for business and cannot imagine working without it. Here our my TOP 7 reasons why I LOVE Twitter so much:

1. I can link my favorite blogger’s posts to Twitter and share it with my followers. I use a tool called Twitterfeed
2. Anyone can easily find me on Twitter and instantly get a sense if they want to follow me or not and vice-versa
3. Real time updates and trending topics (faster than Google)
4. Can tweet from my SmartPhone
5. Share photos
6. Brevity (only 140 characters)
7. Have access to brilliant people from all over the world

Twitter is a very powerful tool. It can be used as a marketing tool, a relationship builder, and connector tool. There were business tools before Twitter and there will be business tools after Twitter. Chuck, my biz partner likes to remind me that before Twitter, there were Bulletin Boards. Any Geeks out there remember the Bulletin Boards in the 80s? How about you? If you are a Twitter Lover, what are some of your favorite reasons for using Twitter? How are you using Twitter to grow your business? If you are not using Twitter for business, why not?  Please share your comments. In my next post, I will write about my full experience at South By Southwest.

Thanks to everyone who participated in our HP iPAQ Glisten SmartPhone Give-Away Contest! Congratulations to Michele Schiro for winning!

So here are my thoughts on the Glisten. My experience with technology comes from the end-user side. I am also an iPhone and Social Media Power User.

• Initially, it seems like the iPhone meets the Blackberry. It has a keyboard pad with a touch screen
• The speaker on the Glisten is much better than the iPhone
• The AT&T Navigator GPS features were great
• The quality of the screen was nice
• Synchronized well with my social networking sites
• Has a very nice feel in my hands when I am holding it
• Has Flash Player unlike iPhone, which is very important to me because I view a lot of business videos
• Can tether it for internet access from my computer unlike the iPhone (this is important if you are mobile)

I personally went straight from a standard cell phone user to an iPhone user. Having said that, I won’t be giving up my iPhone for the HP iPAQ Glisten SmartPhone anytime soon. However, for people who like the touch and feel of a keyboard or have been Blackberry users or Windows Mobile SmartPhone Users, this phone might be a great transitional choice.

I SEE YOU

There’s no doubt that the movie Avatar has captured the imagination of millions. So what does a Hollywood film have to do with business owners? Three words: I SEE YOU. In the movie, Neytiri of Pandora looks straight into Sully’s eyes and says to him, “I see you.” Three simple words, yet such profound meaning. Now think about that for a moment. Imagine taking the time to say that to our customers, our vendors, our employees, our subscribers, and our partners.  My observations and life experiences lead me to believe that people have a desire to be acknowledged and treated with dignity and respect. Once you understand that, then you are in a position to better SERVE the people around you whether it be employees or customers. I realize that sounds so obvious, but I am amazed at how oftentimes, businesses just don’t seem to care. By saying, I see you, Neytiri  acknowledged Sully, she validated him, and she showed him that she cared.

I see you means so much more than its literal connotation. It means:

• I am listening to you, Partners, Affiliates and Vendors
• I understand your needs and wants Mrs. Customer
• How can I empower you, Employees
• How can I help you Fans, Followers, Friends
• How can I support you, Subscribers to my blog
• What can I do to serve you, Database of Prospective Buyers
• How can I thank you, Donors

I See You is about the Platinum Rule

Ultimately, I see you means, I am here for you . I care about you. It’s about understanding the needs and wants of the people around you. I see you is more than the Golden Rule — Treat Others the way YOU want to be treated. I see you is about the Platinum Rule — Treat others the way THEY want to be treated. Now, you might say that giving everyone the customized attention and care of the Platinum Rule is not cost effective or realistic, but what I would encourage you to think about is how you can better understand the people around you that help make your business successful.  It’s a known fact that people do business with people who they know, like, and trust.  What are you doing to see the people around you so that they rave about your products and services and refer more business your way? How are you showing them that you care? If you are having a hard time answering these questions, then it’s time to ask them whether it be your employees or customers. I recommend using survey monkey, an online survey tool. By surveying your team, customers, etc., you will get the feedback you need to guide you in the right direction. Lastly, unfortunately, this lack of caring does not seem to discriminate, whether it be big business or small business. Here is a perfect example of someone who felt like his airline did not “See Him.”

Reminder: Just 9 more days left to win an HP iPAQ Glisten SmartPhone.

Crush It

I just finished reading two books and they are filled with powerful reminders that strong business relationships matter and harnessing the power of social media is critical to cultivating those relationships. The first one is called “Crush It” by Gary Vaynerchuck. For those of you who have not heard of Gary, he has internet rock star fame. He grew his family’s local wine shop into a national industry leader using the power of social media. I highly recommend it to every entrepreneur who wants to grow their online brand. It’s fresh, authentic and a very fun read. I believe we are seeing the emergence of a new kind of entrepreneur in America and Gary Vaynerchuck is our poster boy.

Trust Agents

The second book is “Trust Agents” by Chris Brogan and Julien Smith. Chris was just recently named one of Forbes Web Celeb 25. Trust Agents offers incredible perspective on how to harness the power of social media by understanding that transparency and authenticity is powerful behavior in building your online presence. They write about being a “Human Artist” – someone who understands how to communicate with people in a real and thoughtful way.

Using the Power of the Internet

These two books, “Crush It” and “Trust Agents” should be the foundation to growing your business online. They are a must read for anyone who is serious about building your business by using the power of social media.

She Hated her Job

Have you ever had a job that just felt so wrong for you? Monday morning would come and you would get this sick feeling in your stomach. Or, you’d show up to work and felt like being anywhere else but there? But you sucked it up and made yourself stay there because you had “financial obligations.” Or, you told yourself that you would do it for X amount of time so that you could build your resume.  Recently I sat next to a young woman on an airplane. It was a crowded flight and I could feel the intensity of her “don’t-talk-to-me” energy while moving towards the seat next to her. Reading her cue, I did not initiate a conversation with her for the two-hour flight time until we flew over Lake Tahoe, at which time she blurted something out that was barely audible, but I nevertheless took the opportunity to strike up a conversation.  Fast-forward 30 minutes later, I found out that she HATED her job. She was miserable and felt that she was trapped in the corporate world going no where. Being the curious and inquisitive person that I am, I asked this 20-something year old loads of questions about her interests, strengths, talents, attributes and what she believed her gifts were to the world. Some of my questions stopped her dead in her tracks and some of my questions validated what she was already feeling – unappreciated, not using her strengths, feeling stifled by not sharing her talents at work.

A Mediocre Life

Life is Short! It is too short to not work, play and live LIFE sharing your STAG with the WORLD! Too often, we stay with meaningless jobs, unfulfilling partners, we surround ourselves with mediocre friends and uninspiring people, we consume highly-processed foods that give us heart-burn and make us bloated, and participate in uninteresting conversations because we feel obligated to do so. The young woman on the plane seemed as if she was waiting for someone to give her permission to quit her job and start living the LIFE she envisioned for herself. I know because I was once that young woman…waiting for someone to SAVE me or validate me or give me the nod of approval. She reminded me of how often we succumb to society’s rules and standards that have nothing to do with our inherent gifts. We are bombarded daily with images of who we should be and who we should look like so that we can fit in…while we gradually let go of who we really are.

2010

I want to encourage and remind all of us that when we work, play, and live from our strengths, talents, attributes, and gifts, life is so much sweeter and when our life is sweet, that in turn makes for a healthier and happier family, community, society, country, and world.  Here are some short definitions I created for STAG:

1. Strengths – Something that comes naturally for you, i.e., numbers, words, speaking, athletics, etc.

2. Talents – Taking a strength and turning it into a talent, i.e., mathematician writes algorithms, writer becomes an author. Oprah took her strength of speaking and became a talk-show host. The founders of Google took their strength of math and developed software that created a search engine.

3. Attributes – Attributing one’s strengths and talents to a person’s character. For example, Oprah’s ability to visualize her OWN network. Or Lance Armstrong’s discipline and ambition to win.

4. Gifts – Your LIFE is a gift to be shared. It is honorable and sacred and it is to be shared in relationship with humanity and the WORLD. When we are clear and fully understand the importance of our STAG, we will no longer wait for permission to be wh0 we already are.

In the famous words of Alice Walker, “We are the Ones we have been waiting for.”  So, what are you waiting for? 2010 is just around the corner. I would love to hear your stories when you felt you were at a dead-end job. What was your deciding moment to leave? How did you feel?

Seriously! Here’s How.

Approximately “60 percent of your immune system’s receptors cells are in your colon and another 15 percent are in the lower part of the small intestine.  That means that 75 percent of your body’s immune system is at the mercy of the goings-on of your gut.” – Ann Louise Gittleman, from her book, The Gut Flush Plan.  What that tells me is that if we don’t take proper care of our colon by eliminating all the corruptors; mainly bad bacteria, yeast, and bugs, then our over-all health will be compromised…and when our health is compromised, that certainly may have a negative impact our business. As a small business owner, we wear a lot of different “hats.” Oftentimes, the entrepreneur is the marketer, the administrator, the book keeper, the product developer, the overseer of operations, the negotiator, the errand runner, etc. If you are the only one wearing all those “hats” and your health goes down, that’s STRESS on STEROIDS! Did you know that the number one reason homeowners get foreclosed on is medical bills?

Running a Small Business is Like Running a Marathon.

Think of your small business as a marathon. It is a long race and you need to have a long-term perspective. Short-sighted thinking says that we can eat junk food and survive on coffee and little sleep. That’s a recipe for Burn-Out! We may be able to get away with that for a little while, but eventually it will catch up to us and bite us in the end, literally!  Years ago, I experienced burn-out. I was overweight, tired all the time, making poor food choices and not getting much sleep. My doctor told me that I had “fried my adrenal glands.” I had bought into the myth of “Super Woman.”  With the help of  my friend Gena Livings, online wellness coach , along with my health care professionals, it took 18 months to restore my health.  I now move my body everyday and eat consciously. Exercise is my drug of choice and healthy food is my medicine. I pay attention to what foods make me feel good and eliminate the ones that make me feel bad. Yes, I miss daily cup of coffee and evening wine. I miss all my favorite gourmet cheeses with gluten breads, but you know what? I LOVE how I feel! I love the energy I have. I love that I don’t wake up tired anymore.

Good Health like a Good Business Plan Starts with the End in Mind.

What foods and activities sustain you? What habits, attitudes, and behaviors do you have that help sustain you so that you are running your business versus your business running you?  I often write about how our VISION for our business starts with the END in mind. This time, I really mean it!  Reflecting on what I am THANKFUL for this Thanksgiving, I am grateful for people like Gena Livings and all who have reminded me to love, honor and respect my body. I would love to hear any tips or insights you have for making healthy lifestyle choices or what you are grateful for this Thanksgiving. Please post your comments.

Brenda Tello-Horton is the co-owner of Hware, an Online Business Training and Software Company.

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